Charts & Data
Live charts from JSON — quarterly metrics, rendered in the browser. This section is only the dataviz cards, not the magazine PNG plates.
VIZ-01 · Where Your Hours Actually Go
If “actual work” were a slice of pizza, HR would call it a garnish.
6 slices (8 categories) · Larger for full
Hours tracked: 2,080. Hours that counted as “work” if you squint: 104. Rubdirt efficiency rating: Optimal — because we stopped asking follow-ups.
VIZ-02 · Token distribution (home lab week)
Outputs exist; they’re just socially anxious compared to inputs.
Output bar is shy — like its billing conscience. Max theoretical savings: wallet cried once. Revenue from outputs: “we’ll circle back.” Rubdirt Institute: still circling.
VIZ-03a · What companies said (layoffs edition)
Four euphemisms, one spreadsheet—same exit Zoom link.
Four flavors of “the future” and one scoop of miscellaneous blame. Correlation to slide deck thickness: significant.
VIZ-03b · What analysts found
“Automation delta” is the slice you mention once in paragraph fourteen.
Turns out spreadsheets also lay people off. Who knew? (Everyone. Everyone knew.)
VIZ-04 · Follower lift vs revenue lift
Audience goes hockey-stick; cash flow plays dead until Q∞.
Sampled 10 of 12 points · Larger for full
Followers: hero arc. Revenue: where’s Waldo. Investigation status: “we’re social-first.” Translation: the gap is the product.
VIZ-05 · Valuation before / after the word “assistant”
Same repo, new deck—valuation follows adjectives, not commits.
Code diff: nil. Deck diff: fourteen words and one unjustified confidence curve. Value per syllable: ask your lawyer; she’s billing while you read this footnote.
VIZ-06 · Cold tub correlation · revenue vs tubs installed
The tub didn’t fix revenue—calendar shame did, briefly, with towels.
Correlation: loud. Causation: not discussed at the slide where snacks appeared. Q3 also coincided with “math,” “contracts,” and “that one client left.” unrelated™.
VIZ-07 · The January effect (gym edition)
February is nature’s unsubscribe—capacity stays fiction year-round.
Jan: humanity exceeds fire code. Feb: the Resolution Correction — nature’s unsubscribe button. Treadmill status: dramatic.
VIZ-08 · Prompt specialist career viability index
Careers age in dog years when the baseline model learns to spell your typos.
Peak: folklore money. Trough: the model learned to decode typos and chaos. Current gig: “trainer” — now with more fluorescent lighting.
VIZ-09 · Course economics — your wallet vs the yacht fund
Three grand of coursework buys lighting rigs for the person who sold you hope.
Bar two is real; it’s just shy. Bar three bought the webinar lighting you stared into. Math available upon request — request denied.
VIZ-17 · Free “training” funnel (illustrative cruelty)
The funnel is wide at “hello” and cruel by slide seventeen.
6/9 stages · Larger for full
The 90-minute free session was an ad. The ad started when hope peaked. Purchasers: dozens. Finishers: you know who you are.
VIZ-19 · Download → delete emotional pipeline
Your phone now weighs more; your problem stayed the same weight.
6/8 stages · Larger for full
Problem still present. Phone heavier. Spirit: lighter, briefly, during install animation.
VIZ-33 · Hashtag reach vs no hashtag (basically twins)
Twenty hashtags, statistically indistinguishable from silence—typography cosplay.
6/8 stages · Larger for full
Twenty ornaments, +0.7% lift — inside the margin of “maybe Tuesday.” Conclusion: typography cosplay.
VIZ-34 · Audience vs things shipped
Followers are the product; the repo is where empathy goes to nap.
The audience is the show. Shipping is the seasonal cliffhanger. Spoiler: flat line wins every sweeps week.
VIZ-35 · Agent promises vs whatever shipped
Marketing hits ten on ambition; reality clocks in around “mostly harmless.”
Some shipped bars are theoretical — like the ROI slide, but with fewer apologies.
VIZ-36 · Confidence vs accuracy (inverse superpowers)
Same paragraph—one voice booming, one voice checking Wikipedia.
98% vs 23%
Same paragraph. Different planets.
Most accurate phrase in tech remains “I might be wrong.” Least accurate: confident specifics about a library that moonlights as fanfiction.
VIZ-02 · Input-to-output ratio (hero mode)
Inputs arrive like a parade; outputs sneak out through the service exit.
153 : 1
We’re looking into it (narrator: they aren’t)
Tokens in: heroic. Tokens out: shy. Business model attached? Pending. Spirit? Operator-mode immaculate.
Bonus · Joy level — Q1 (morale telemetry)
Q1 joy curve matches thermostat policy—down-only by editorial decree.
Down-only quarter per editorial policy. HR calls it “energy restructuring.” You call it February.
Bonus · Output vs soul (same spreadsheet, two tragedies)
The spreadsheet lets you optimize both until one stops returning emails.
Pick a winner — HR already did. It wasn’t soul.